I sat stunned when she said it:
“You don’t have to believe everything you think.”
Wait… what???
“Yes,” she continued, “just because someone says something doesn’t make it true. And just because you think something doesn’t make it truth either.”
That one sentence changed everything — and it’s the core of good coaching.
Because while we can’t control what happens around us, we can choose our thoughts about it.
Every day. Every moment.
Circumstances are neutral.
Our thoughts about those circumstances are where the story begins.
The Story I Believed About My Childhood
For years, I told myself a painful story.
My parents divorced when I was three. I never saw my father after the age of five. My childhood was filled with moving, instability, long hours alone, and messages about how awful my father was. As an only child raised by a mother focused on her career, I often felt forgotten.
The thoughts I carried were heavy:
I wasn’t wanted.
I was a burden.
My childhood was horrible.
Something must be wrong with me.
No one will ever love me.
I have to earn acceptance.
Those thoughts created feelings of rejection, unworthiness, sadness, resentment, and shame.
And from those feelings?
I made a lot of painful decisions — overworking, over-giving, seeking love in unhealthy places, and constantly hustling for approval.
I achieved a lot… but never from ease. Always from striving.
The Reframe That Broke Everything Open
When I began my coaching journey, my coach, Dr. Edie, shared this about her own difficult childhood:
“God gave me exactly the parents and life I needed to prepare me for the amazing life He has for me… He designed the perfect training ground for the work I’d one day be called to do. The end.” — Dr. Edie Wadsworth
Boom.
Those words shattered the story I had been believing… and offered me a new one.
This Is What Coaching Does
It helps uncover those sneaky, painful thoughts running your life in the background…
teaches you how to examine them…
and empowers you to choose new ones on purpose.
Thoughts that heal instead of harm.
Thoughts that build instead of break.
Thoughts that align with who God created you to be.
My New Thoughts
Here’s the transformation that changed my life:
Old thought → “I had a horrible childhood.”
New thought → God used my childhood as training for the assignment He gave me.
Old thought → “They didn’t want me.”
New thought → They were two broken people doing the best they could. It wasn’t about me.
Old thought → “I ruined my mother’s life.”
New thought → She missed out on the unconditional love I had to give.
Old thought → “No one will love me.”
New thought → I have always been fully loved by God — and He’s given me beautiful people to do life with.
Old thought → “Maybe if I achieve more, I’ll finally be accepted.”
New thought → I am not what I accomplish. I am already worthy and loved.
These thoughts create feelings of peace, empowerment, compassion, and confidence —
and the life I build from those emotions looks completely different.
Your Thoughts Are Building Your Life
And the best news?
You don’t have to believe every thought that comes into your mind.
You get to choose what stays.
You get to choose what shapes your life.
You get to choose what story you’ll live from.
Every single day.
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